I'm so tired of wondering all the time whats going on. It's been almost 2 years and I still feel like i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is not ok but then maybe thats the way it works. should you feel so secure in a relationship that you never wonder. I hate it. I can honestly say it's me not him. He doesn't even know. somedays there is lots he doesn't know. Like how i just want to scream, or for him to go away, or that all i want to do is be with him and never let go. I wish so many things when it comes to him and have opened so many boxes. Most of the time I wish he would of just left them alone. I'd be happier, calmer. Not wishing for things I can never have and he doesn't want...