Again my world is falling apart. 13 years ago I was pregnant with my second child. At that time I was raising my 2 year old and failing at life. I could not even begin to think about failing with another child. Having another man in my life letting me down and the child I was carrying. So I made a choice. I walked away from her, left her in the arms of her father and just walked away.

I didn't think about what happened next. I didn't want to. 

Next is now. A few weeks ago my second daughters aunt called me. She is looking for me, she wants to meet me, be a part of my life. Have me in hers. 

I contacted her father today. It was weird talking to him after more than 10 years. He sounded just the same. He was calm but expecting much more than I am ready to give. He is thinking this will play out like a lifetime movie of the week, I am expecting this to all blow up in my face.