How do you deal with things you don't want but can't seem to stop from happaning. From turning into a person even you don't like. From likeing a man who seems wonderful but you just met. From lying to everyone about whats going on in your life. From doing things that you really don't want to do. I used to be this strong women, someone people depended on, looked up to. Now I feel weak and useless. No one noticed the change in me, I wonder if anyone would if I should stood up one day and screamed stop. It feels like my whole world is crumbling around me and I can do nothing but watch the pieces fall. I don't know how many more times I can rebuild my life. I don't know if I should. I'm just so tired of putting on a smile and faking happiness for everyone else. I just want to be sad and angry. But that isn't the way my world works...