I want. I hate those words. But it seems that I need to not just start saying them but fighting for the meaning behind them. I guess that also means I need to start acknowledging what it is that I want. 

I haven't looked at things I want in a long time. And I don't mean a purse or boots. I mean those private wants that I don't tell anyone about, even myself. The ones that hurt when I say them and they go unanswered by the people I need them from. 

I want my husband to love me. To touch me. To stop saying it and show me. I want him to love all of me and I want to feel like he does. I want to feel him touch me, every inch of skin. I want maybe just a bit of romance between us. 

Most of all I want to be able to tell him this and have him hear me when I do. Maybe one day...